My husband passed one year ago today (January 23rd) from COVID-19 and I instantly became a widow.

The day after I buried my beloved Ernest Slaughter, Sr. I completely shut myself off from the world….

For those of you who don’t live in Mississippi soon after the funeral we had a winter storm to come thru that left us without water and power for about two weeks.

I stayed in our marital home just like that… without water or power. Not because I had to (my mother and daughter both were trying to get me to come to their homes for safety) a part of me knew that once I left that would mean the end of our story and I just wasn’t ready for that.

So, for three days I slept, I cried, and I yelled at God in the dark and with no water until my mom and daughter finally said ENOUGH is ENOUGH it’s time for you to leave. Yes ya’ll depression had me bound.

Saying goodbye to 815 McCluer Road meant I had to face my new reality. Life as a widow.

I remember taking a deep breath and telling God,” it’s me and you now!”

GRIEF!

Let me tell ya’ll grief is something else! There is no book, therapy, support group etc.. that can protect/prepare you for the weight of it. You just have to trust God and go through the process. I would cry at the most awkward times and still do ( just last week I called my boss crying as I sat on the floor in my closet). My therapist taught me that there are 7 stages of grief and everybody moves through the stages differently. Being aware of the stages has helped me to deal with the loss of my husband.

• Shock and denial. Feelings of shock and denial are unavoidable in nearly every situation, even if you could foresee it happening. … 
• Pain and guilt. … 
• Anger and bargaining. … 
• Depression, loneliness and reflection. … 
• Upward turn. … 
• Reconstruction. … 
• Acceptance and hope.

For those of you going through grief remember there is no timeline. It comes and goes and it’s common to move back and forth between all the phases. Like I said its a process and everybody’s process is different.

FINANCES

If then you have not been faithful in the unrighteous wealth, who will entrust to you the true riches? And if you have not been faithful in that which is another’s, who will give you that which is your own?-

Your financial priority immediately after your spouse dies is making sure you have enough money to pay your bills. After that, when you’ve had time to identify your financial goals, you may want to do like I did and invest part of your money. When you invest, you should look for ways to invest so that you’ll have more money for the future instead of spending it. Finding yourself a good broker or financial adviser is key!

TRAVEL

Traveling brings power and love back into your life…

This one was hard for me at first, but I’m finally getting used to it!

I had a lot of guilt in the beginning about moving on with my life without my husband, until one day I was reflecting on his life and the type of person that he was. He was so joyful and full of life! He loved people and he loved to go! So, I started packing my suitcase and fell in love with traveling. I call it traveling with intentions. Every city I visit I have to check off the following three things before I leave:

Something New To Do… Something New To Eat.. and Something New To See.

This first year has been all over the place. I cried on the phone with the Headstone company probably 4 times. My husband headstone has been on backorder since last spring (due to COVID) and every time I got the “I’m sorry Mrs. Slaughter call I would just freak out on the poor sales guy. I experienced all my first holidays without my husband (that was rough), and at the same time I’ve done a lot of smiling. Smiling when I think about the life God blessed me to live with such a kind and beautiful spirit. Smiling because I know we will meet again!